Found wife’s hidden vacation video. Do I need to ask?
REPOSTING…Asked this very late one night. Thought I would see what the morning group has to add. Thanks.
We visited my wife’s college friend last month. She married and moved to another country a few years ago and they wanted to get together again. We stayed at their place and one day the friend stole my wife for a day so they could catch up. They were gone all day and most of the night. She said they went shopping and got makeovers, which was obvious. She was in a club kind of dress she would never wear at home…more makeup…and a spiky hairstyle. She looked great, but not what I’m used to. I asked about her day but she didn’t want to talk about it. She laughed and said don’t worry, she didn’t screw anybody. I didn’t think much about it again until yesterday. I was looking for a movie in her stash of chick flicks and fitness videos when I found one that was unmarked. It was two hours of her day and night out. They had been recording practically every minute they were together, so it’s not too surprising they wanted to record that too. I won’t describe everything in detail, but it started with the makeover and shopping. There was a visit to a nude beach. More shopping. A strip club where they took part in an amateur competition, including lap dances. More shopping…for the club dresses this time. Then finally a dance club. They didn’t record everything, but there was dancing, making out, flashing, and other craziness you would expect in that atmosphere. I feel bad that I found the dvd while I was going through her things because she hates people doing that. Everything is totally normal since we’ve been home, and I wonder if I should tell her what I know and open that can of worms. Sorry for the long question.
I happen to agree with Valerie about the Penthouse letter thing. That’s exactly what it sounds like. And there are plenty of holes in the story because it would be way too long if I got into the whole thing.
KitKat… mid-30s, married 8 years.
What are you crazy? What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Leave it alone. If it still bothers you on your 50th anniversary say something then. otherwise forget it and pretend you never saw it.
February 21st, 2010 at 11:18 am
Dear Penthouse:
I can’t believe this happened to me, I thought this was only the type of thing people read about……………………..
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Hey Syndi- I cannot believe people are answering this seriously! LOL!
February 21st, 2010 at 12:04 pm
too funny Valerie…my thoughts exactly…should at least make it more believable though…some pretty large holes in his story…lol
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February 21st, 2010 at 12:37 pm
Can of worms. Don’t touch. Be satisfied you know and never, ever show your hand.
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February 21st, 2010 at 12:53 pm
What are you crazy? What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Leave it alone. If it still bothers you on your 50th anniversary say something then. otherwise forget it and pretend you never saw it.
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February 21st, 2010 at 1:00 pm
It’s up to you, if it bothers you and you think something like that will happen again then maybe you should tell her. I don’t see why a married woman would want to do that kind of stuff anyway.
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February 21st, 2010 at 1:27 pm
That depends on how open your guys relationship is. You don’t sound very upset that she did these things. I would tell her that you know but don’t be hateful or accusing. Tell her how you found it. You were not snooping right? you were actually looking for something that you thought would be there. Just tell her to clear the air.
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February 21st, 2010 at 2:05 pm
Is this for real? But it sounds like she has a wild side and she let it out. She didn’t really cheat on you, unless you consider making out cheating. It depends on the level of openness in your r/ship. Some people wouldn’t be bothered, others would. If you can’t deal with having a wife with a wild side, maybe you married the wrong woman. Have a conversation with her about it and see what you can work out.
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February 21st, 2010 at 2:53 pm
I would be concerned that if she lied to you about that then what else has she lied about?
You said she was making out? That is cheating. I don’t think you should be feeling bad she should.
Its your choice if you want to tell her, but I don’t think you can fully trust her.
How old are you both? How long have you been married?
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February 21st, 2010 at 3:42 pm
what I think is amazing is that guys are always allowed to have bachelor parties go to strip clubs, watch porn and it is NEVER supposed to "mean anything." Well – this doesn’t mean anything etiher. She cut loose – she has fun. No cheating. Relax. Who cares?
Why bring it up – to be like "I know how much fun you had- just so you know." she will get defensive – you will feel like a dick. Whats your point? Are you criticizing something that she did? did somethign piss you off? Then whats the point – to gloat that you found it — to brag that you are nosey enough to find it? or what ? I dont’ get the point of you telling her…really- what do you expect to happen?!
get a grip.
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February 21st, 2010 at 4:26 pm
Well it’s obvious your wife has a hidden desire to cut loose once in a while. Should you confront her? Perhaps, but you may want to test the waters first. You may want to role-play about her being alone at a bar and you come in and pick her up. Act like you don’t know each other. Have her wear that dress and get all dolled up like she was on vacation. If she has that wild streak, you may enjoy some fun with it. Of course you may also be surprised at how much attention your wife gets from other men. Like a bees to honey.
If you do talk to her about it, don’t be too accusing or get upset. She will be more open about what happened if she sees that you are not upset. Key here is communication, and communication is the key to trust.
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February 21st, 2010 at 4:56 pm
when you say making out, was it the two of them, with each other, or with other guys they didn’t know? if it was with each other, you, my friend are a lucky man. you don’t need to tell her you saw the video, just bring it up casually the next time you are out on the town that you want to see her kiss a woman, see what happens! wow, i’m not really answering your question am i? just letting my own dirty mind go to work. if the things you saw on that video REALLY bother you, I think the best way to bring it up is to start the conversation…"honey, you know i trust you and I did something I’m not proud of, but……." just make sure she knows you weren’t snooping and that you found it by accident. Good luck buddy!!
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